Words of the Mad

Alamak! I wanted to post this interesting quote in the previous entry from the instructor whom I’m paying this Saturday to assess if I’m competent / talented enough to enrol into his crash course. Too agitated blogging about my current instructor that I forgot. Hahahaha!

Very interesting and cute leh! Hahaha! We need to be brave enough to fail before we can pass. Hmmm. Life-worthy quote? *ponders*

I’m VERY IRRITATED with my current driving instructor. I think he’s a tad irresponsible, as in he isn’t making an effort to initiate help nor make time for me to punctually take my exam on 14th May.

I mean, if he knew that the circuit needs to be booked 1 month before my test date, then bloody hell let me know lar! He simply just told me that it’s too late to book the circuit and that I should change my test date because I got a lot of things haven’t learn (like parking!!!). When i offered to take more lessons over the next few weeks, he said he has to make time for his other students too. KNS!

What he could have done is still proceed to book the circuit, then inform me that I’m not up to par to get into the circuit and arrange with me to take more lessons to catch up. Rather than just last minute now ask me to change my test date and refusing to let me take extra lessons. Very irresponsible lor. Provisional Driving License no need money issit? Tsk tsk!

I admit it’s partly my fault that I’m lagging behind because I’m not conscientious in booking and taking my lessons weekly (there were 2 close to 1 month breaks in between). That doesn’t mean he can shirk responsibilties lor! He’s a freaking instructor leh. No lessons plans at all?

Bloody irritated lar. I’m looking for another instructor for a crash course. I’m going for one assessment this weekend (gotta pay him, of course) with an instructor to see if I can be helped to pass the driving test with just a few weeks left. So scary! Imagine if he tells me that he can’t help me! That’d mean like I’m totally hopeless, even after 17 hours of lesson lor! OMIGOD!

I cannot take such setbacks. I better perform well this Saturday. Grrrr. Inept instructors ruining my life! BAHHHH!

Tired. Tired. Tired. Half-done only leh. How ah? About 2 hours left to go. And it’ll be 24 hours before the next one. BAHHHH BAHHHHH BLACK SHEEP!!

I hate assignments.

I suddenly recall I used to type I hate school! in my old old blog during poly days. Gosh. It’s repeating itself. Fuck! I’m screwed! I brought it upon myself. SIANZ!

Cannot finish! Cannot finish! How? How? How? Haven’t even started answering the requirements. Wahahahaha! Write so much of rubbish. Bahh Bahh Black Sheep!

I hate assignments!

I have two assignments due this coming Monday and Tuesday. My plan is to write and complete them on Saturday and Sunday, one assignment a day. I’m comtemplating of grabbing my MacBook and running off to either McDonald’s or the library to do this. I’m not sure whether I’ll be determined enough to do so.

I’m trying to rid my procrastination and laziness. I must think of a way. I must, I must, I must!

My MovableType SIAO LIAO!

I tried to publish my previous entry but it kept failing me. I end up discovering that I cannot use the word “from” in THAT ENTRY! SIAO LOR!

Anyway I’ve replaced the word FROM with IN, or something applicable lar. I can’t remember all that I’ve changed. Not a lot though. If the previous entry sounds funny, don’t laugh at me! :p

Ok, so I managed to convince myself to do more for my assignment and get my studies on track. I’ve selected the 3 scenes in Jack Neo’s Homerun for my Intro to Comm Studies paper. This is most crucial because there’s nothing to do without these for analysis. If there’s nothing to analyse, then I cannot apply my knowledge of the topic.

Blah blah blah.

You get the gist.

Anyways, I’ve extracted the 3 scenes in the VCD (aiyo, so ancient, I know) into 3 separate files and I’ll be bringing them to office tmr. I hope there isn’t much work work to do so that I can start my school work. I’m using a new approach this time, by writing down my analysis with some keywords, phrases of sentences or something before forming it into an essay. That’s my plan, at least. It’s good to have a plan, I think.

However, like my ex-colleague said, plans tend to fall apart, so I better not keep my expectations too high.

I enjoy Intro to Comm Studies SO MUCH MORE than learning the history of English lar. So silly leh, UniSIM, to combine these 2 into one degree. Don’t know if I can (or should) switch to an external degree offered by an overseas uni that is part of the SIM Global Education arm of SIM that offers a pure Communication Studies degree. Hmm. Still, a supposedly locally-recognised uni is definitely better right? Hmm.

Aiya, dunno lar. Just try and complete lar. Hope all things go well. Good luck to me lar!

Sharon Au, one of my favourite artistes. I think she was (and maybe still is) seriously misunderstood as a celebrity. I can’t remember how I got to realise she probably has a very different off-screen persona. Maybe thru her magazine interviews or something.

In any case, she’s now in Japan pursuing her degree, after halting her studies for many many years from her ‘A’ levels to be an air stewardess, and later a TV figure. She should totally be my role model. Picking up the books again after so long and persisting through. I’m pretty envious.

And here I am, dropped my books for merely 2 years, and unable to pick up the momentum to study. I want to do well. I do. I just don’t know why my procrastination skills are this superb. I succumb to every opportunity to NOT do my assignments. I can’t find the determination and motivation.

I have 2 assignments due consecutively next Monday and Tuesday. I did a brief reading of the materials for the 1st ppr but still haven’t got around to doing more. And let’s not get started on my 2nd ppr. I’m screwed, I feel.

Maybe I should just try thinking about Sharon Au everytime I don’t feel like doing work. Strive to be like her. Strive to be like my idol. Oh, and I suddenly realise my other idol, Fann Wong, reads a lot! I should be like her too. Read more to gain general knowledge, and stop being a frog in the well.

Ok. Motivation. Look up to my idols and strive to be like them. Yes. I shall try that.

I suddenly think the skin and the font of this blog look a lot better on my Mac then on the PC. Why ah? The Safari browser on the Mac seems to generate the codes better. Hmmm.

And I dunno why the time of my post is stated as 20 minutes later. Have to amend the time after each posting. Hmmm.

I’m wasting too much time on this. I don’t know what I’m doing. *yawn*

I cannot recall my motivation for enrolling into school again. I wonder if it’s because I subconsiously wanted to stay on after NS in my current office and escape the realisms of life (outside government service). It’s getting too comfortable for my own good.

No interest in doing my assignments. I didn’t submit a paper on time, even after the tutor kindly granted me an extension. Actually, she gave me two extensions. Heck, I have yet to even complete that paper. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing with my life, screwing up the money and time.

What should I do? And where do I go from here? I don’t wish to be coined a quitter. I think I DO care A LOT more about what others think of me than I actually appear to be. I should put down this heavy ego of mine.

Shit! I see a lot of “I, I, I” in this entry. The world doesn’t revolve around me!!!!!!!!!! Why must it always be about me?????!! Heck, this is my blog. I don’t know what to say other than posting about my miserable life caused by myself.

Grrrrrrrrrrr. I actually tweaked this site because I didn’t want to do my assignment. My priorities are ALL WRONG. I feel like a loser all over again.

Maybe, I am.